I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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