I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
