At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
