Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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