Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
