btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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