shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
