some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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