it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We have so much sex to catch up on
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
