Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
