My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My feet surprised me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
