I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
