I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
