There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
