anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
