think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
