I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We named our party play list daddy issues
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
