She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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