What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
