I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
