Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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