i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
