i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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