Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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