How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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