Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
