My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
