We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
