If that was your dad, he is hot
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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