that's an acceptable place to lick
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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