false alarm. still invincible.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
