I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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