Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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