I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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