well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
