I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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