so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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