You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
