I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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