I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
