i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
