My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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