if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
