Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
