She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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