Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize
