i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
