she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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