I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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