She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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