I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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